I'll Be Devastated
by live-in-dreamland1
Summary: Stiles doesn't know what to think when he finds Lydia bleeding on the floor. All he knows is that he can't loose her.


Can you believe this? Two fics in one day! I don't think I've ever done this before but when that muse hits...you gotta listen.

So having just watched the new episode of teen wolf, and that small (albiet heartbreaking) stydia moment, I just had to elaborate on it. And so this fic was born. I hope you like it.

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The moment Stiles finds Lydia laying on the floor with Kira keeping her hands over the wound, he feels like the ground has been taken out from under him. He can hear no other voices, see nothing else apart from Lydia. He feels Theo push past him as he goes to step forward, moving quickly to tie his belt above the wound and Stiles stops. There is no way he can remove the look of utter heartbreak as he stares at Lydia. He doesn't register the quickening pace of his heartbeat nor the slight tightness of his chest. All he can see is Lydia. Lydia and blood. So much blood. He just can't tear his eyes away until Scott calls his name.

When he looks back at Lydia, she is staring straight back at him and gives him a weak smile.

'I'm fine,' she says in a whisper and Stiles opens his mouth to say something but finds no words. 'Go help Tracy.'

Despite wanting nothing more than to stay here with her, Stiles was never really able to deny Lydia anything and when she tells him to help Tracy, that's exactly what he is going to do.

He and Scott find Malia standing over Tracy and as Malia starts to explain what happened, Stiles can't exactly pay attention. His thoughts are the strawberry blonde bleeding out in a sheriff's office. It occurs to him that he hasn't even asked his own father how he is but things are moving quickly and there is just no time. As Deaton and Scott carry out Tracy's body, Stiles doesn't wait for Malia or his father as he runs back upstairs.

'An ambulance is on its way,' Kira informs him as he reappears in the doorway. Lydia's skin still glistens with sweat and her mother continually brushes her hair away from her face. Lydia's eyes catch his again and she offers him a small smile.

'Did you…find her?' she asks. Stiles nods his head.

'Don't talk sweetie,' her mother says. 'Save your strength.'

Before too long, the flashing lights of the ambulance arrive and the paramedics are quick to load Lydia onto a stretcher. Her mother jumps into the back of the van with her and Stiles is half tempted to ask if he can ride with them but the doors are slammed shut, concealing Lydia from his view.

'Come on Stiles,' Kira softly says beside him. Malia is already waiting by the door with Theo.

'Is she gonna be okay?' Stiles eventually asks as he follows Kira out to the jeep. The only reason he's asking Kira this is because she was the one that was with Lydia. She would be the only one out of all of them who knew how bad it was.

'Lydia is strong,' Kira states and Stiles knows it meant for comfort, that its meant for him. He nods his head, opening the drivers door and jumping in and hears the others pile into the jeep. His jeeps starts up on the first turn of the key and throughout the drive to the hospital, there are no car issues.

Melissa is there when they arrive, quickly informing them that Lydia is about to go in for surgery. The longer they have to wait, the more anxious Stiles becomes. He stands up from his chair and begins pacing. It doesn't escape his mind the last time she was here after Peter had attacked her. Though this time he feels like he has a slightly better control over his emotions, and his reaction to the events.

He remembers a time when he had told Lydia that he would be devastated if she had died. Right now, devastated doesn't even to begin to cover how he might feel if he looses Lydia. He wouldn't be able to cope. When he hears Melissa call his name, Stiles is instantly focused. When she praises Theo's quick thinking, Stiles can feel his stomach drop because _it should have been him._ He should have been the one to save her. It should have been him. Stiles ignores the look Theo gives him and he also ignore the look he can feel Scott directing his way behind his back. Now is not the time to discuss exactly where his heart lies. He can't do that right now. Not with Malia in the room. Malia. That is a pathway into something he isn't ready to confront just yet.

Eventually Lydia gets out of surgery and her outlook is positive. Family are still the only visitors she allowed to have but it doesn't stop Stiles from trying.

When Lydia is moved out of the ICU, Stiles is the first person to go and visit. Scott understood and offered to keep everyone away until he had had his moment. Taking a breath shaking his hands, Stiles knocks on the door.

'Come in,' a tired voice answers. Opening the door slowly, Stiles steps in. When Lydia catches a glance of him, her face brightens. 'Stiles,' she says.

'Hey Lydia,' he responds, moving towards the bed. 'How are you feeling?'

'I've been better,' she responds. Stiles opens his mouth to say something but finds the words once again stuck in his throat. He finally blurts out a sorry and Lydia furrows her brow.

'What are you sorry for?'

'I'm sorry that Tracy attacked you. I'm sorry we didn't get there fast enough. I'm sorry I couldn't help you,' he says and Lydia can see the guilt behind his eyes. Making up her mind, Lydia stretches a hand out to him and Stiles is quick to take it.

'You were there,' she says but the sentence doesn't make Stiles feel any better. 'You were there Stiles and that is all that matters.'

'Lydia…' Stiles starts. 'Do you remember when I told you what you happen if you died?'

Lydia tilts her head and purses her lips slightly as she nods, showing that she remembered.

'Death doesn't happen to you, it happens to everyone around you,' she said.

'Yes, that,' Stiles says.

'I also remember saying that you would be devastated,' Lydia continues.

'Devastated wouldn't even begin to cover how I would feel if we lost you Lydia.'

'Stiles,' Lydia said, feeling her heart tug.

'Please, don't do that again.'

Lydia doesn't say anything. She simply scoots forward and wraps her arms around Stiles's waist. His are quick to wrap around her shoulders and for a quiet minute, the two teens stay wrapped up in their embrace. Despite all they have gone through, they still maintain their connection with each other.

The intimacy of the moment isn't lost on either of them but they make a silent agreement not to comment on it. There's too much going on right now, too many issues to address before they can even begin to venture down this pathway. So they stay silently wrapped up in the peaceful moment they have, knowing that at any moment, it could be broken.


End file.
